thehoneytrap

Barbarella Psychedella

2005-01-26T07:57:00.000-08:00

What a way to start a movie. Before she was a political activist and made workout videos, Jane Fonda did a very hot peekaboo zero gravity striptease for the title credits of Barbarella . The "five star, double-rated astronavigatrix", started off life as a comic strip drawn by Jean-Claude Forest for V magazine in 1962. Dino De Laurentiis, who later produced the other campy sci-fi classic Flash Gordon, bought the rights and showed the story to French director Roger Vadim. Roger was married to Jane Fonda at the time and convinced her to turn down the title role in Bonnie and Clyde so they could do the project together. The film began shooting in 1967 with an all-star cast and crew. David Hemmings (Blow Up), Milo O'Shea (Romeo and Juliet) and Anita Pallenberg (dressed in Paco Rabanne, with a giant horn on her head) play the lead roles. Terry Southern, who was the scriptwriter for Dr Strangelove and Easy Rider, also provides the famous mime Marcel Marceau with his first ever spoken role, where he says stuff like “the angel is aerodynamically sound, it’s all a question of morale.” The two things that Barbarella is famous for are the costumes and the sex. Jacques Fonteray, the costume designer, decided that in the 41st century a female space explorer would wear go-go boots, mini-dresses, capes and a (slightly annoying) tail. Though at the rate she changes her costumes, you do wonder whether her wardrobe is large enough for her to complete the mission of finding the scientist Duran Duran and his evil positronic ray. Our heroine also gets laid alot. Sometimes the old-fashioned way, sometimes with a "exultation-transference pellet" and sometimes by an erotic torture piano. There's also an excellent scene where a woman smokes a man in a bong.

For Betty or Worse

2005-01-26T07:28:00.000-08:00

The multiple personalities of Betty Page
Although she only modelled for seven years in the 1950's, Betty Page had more photographs of her taken than Marilyn Monroe and Cindy Crawford put together. But if you look past the black bangs, and impish smiles in her bondage and cheesecake shots, you'll also see that the world's most famous pin-up had thin lips, a lazy right eye and a high forehead. She learnt all her modelling poses when she was placed in an orphanage in Nashville aged 10, after her father sexually abused her, then knocked up another local teenager. Betty and her sisters used to play a game called "Program" where they would mimic the poses of the movie stars when the colour supplement of the newspaper arrived each Sunday. Her modelling career started when she moved to New York and bumped into an off-duty police officer with a penchant for photography in Coney Island. He suggested putting together her first portfolio and told her to cut in her trademark fringe to disguise her forehead. She soon started modelling naked for camera enthusiasts at camera clubs, and it wasn't until biographies of her came out forty years later that she found out that there was often no film in the cameras of the amateur photographers.

Bettie Page 2

2005-01-26T06:36:00.000-08:00

A lot of Betty Page's popularity came from the fact the she alternated between bad girl bondage and the girl next door. She designed all of her bikinis in the photos that appeared in men's magazines like Playboy, Wink, Titter and the innocent-enough-sounding Sunbathing For Health magazine. She also designed the "Jungle Betty" outfit from one of her most famous photo sessions with Bunny Yeager, where she posed in a safari park in Florida. In her most famous photos, she had dark circles under her eyes as she had been broken into the night and two of the cheetahs she posed nude with had been vomiting all night. Even though she wasn't personally into bondage herself, her other persona was the "Dark Angel", where she posed with whips and wrestled other girls in underwear for photographer Irving Klaw. Then suddenly at the height of her fame, and after rejecting the sexual advances of Howard Hughes, she disappeared for nearly four decades.

Bettie Page 3

2005-01-26T05:25:00.000-08:00

After her disappearence, rumours abounded that Betty Page had been snuffed out by the Mob, been assassinated by the FBI, changed her face with plastic surgery, become a nun or married the Shah of Iran. Her popularity didn't wane in her absence: fan magazines circulated and her likeness was borrowed in cartoon strips from The Rocketeer to Vampirella. When she was finally tracked down by journalists, living as a recluse in Florida, she confessed the reason for her mysterious disappearance: Jesus had appeared to her in a vision, and told her that he didn't want her to model anymore. It was also revealed that she really did have a split personality: Betty had attempted to stab several people to death and had been diagnosed as schizophrenic and committed to a mental health asylum for a decade. Now, after rumours of Liv Tyler styling her hair into bangs for Martin Scorsese, a Betty biopic is finally being made by the people behind American Psycho. But Betty doesn't understand what all the fuss is about: "They keep saying I'm some kind of icon and that I started the new generation's sex movement. All I did was pose in the nude. I had less sex activity those seven years in New York than I had any other time in my life."

Belle End

2005-01-26T05:20:00.000-08:00

Now that Belle de Jour has her book and TV deal, she's given up hooking.

Belle de Jour is one very clever ex-prostitute. She borrowed her name from a 1967 French film starring Catherine Deneuve as a housewife who dabbles in prostitution, she discussed Iris Murdoch with clients after sex and once chastised one of her johns for wanting to write his name in come on her: "You can't fool me, you nicked that line from London Fields". "Amis Fan?" he said idly, pulling himself with one hand." She confessed all to her weblog in 2003, and soon had the British press clamouring to work out whether all the literary references meant she was a journalist writing a mucky fairytale. Toby Young, Rowan Pelling, Sarah Champion, even Labour spin doctor Alistair Campbell had the finger pointed at them. The Times even hired a literary forensic expert to track her down. A six-figure book deal and an upcoming Channel 4 TV series has meant that she's quit her day job now, so that when her phone rings now "it doesn't mean I have to go check the state of my pubic hair." In one interview, Belle complained that with all the press furore came the assumption "that a woman who has sex for money could not possibly put a readable sentence together." But when she writes in her book "Did I mention that I am actually rather clever? Oh, I did. Well, Martin Amis is cool," does she not realise how grating it is to show off how many books she's got under her belt? Which begs the question, how are Channel 4 going to translate her literary boastfulness on to screen? And now that she's not a prostitute, is she interesting anymore?

George's girls

2005-01-26T04:25:00.000-08:00

Mr Petty's secret: they were all based on his daughter

The only thing a little bit strange about the scantily-clad Petty Girl pin-up, with her rosy cheeks, perky D-cup breasts and Coca-Cola bottle curves, was that George Petty based her on his daughter. The construction of the ultimate male fantasy put to paper was a Petty family production line. George's wife would suggest drawing a coquettish ice skater or ballet dancer, then his daughter Marjorie would pose for him. He would morph the Petty Girl into a different pretty lady by transplanting another model's head on top for each painting. Even his son, George Jr, was the model for the Petty Girl's beau. The Petty Girls most famously appeared in Esquire for seven years, but also graced the front cover of Time magazine, were hood ornaments for Nash cars and starred in ads for the Ice Capades and the suggestively-named tool company Ridgid Tools. One of Petty's favourite poses for her was curled up on a bed on the recently-invented telephone. He once advertised his services in an illustrator's classified section, which traditionally carried ads that read "Water colour and oil" and "Poster and Book design", as "Telephones tenderly rendered". George Petty died in 1975, after spending the last years of his life hunting big game in Africa and on the panel of judges for Miss America. In 1973, Esquire also managed to convince him to draw his final pin-up, an old age pensioner complete with grey hair and granny glasses.

Come Stains

2005-01-21T13:50:00.000-08:00

Suddenly everyone's making stained glass porn

Juan Martin del Campo makes stained glass windows with everything from naked men standing next to unicorns, to mano-a-mano blow jobs. He also makes mini-stained glass handcuffs for your every pornographic Christmas tree need. He was inspired to make the "sacred and the sacrilege to shine through each shard of glass" after seeing the stained-glass cover art for Thurston Moore's 'Psychic Hearts' album. And what does he wear while making his stained glass smut? Bunny ears and cravats. But he's not the first artist to merge the Catholic church's favourite form of art with porn. Wim Delvoye beat him to it with his 2002 'Sex-Rays' stained glass window, where he mosaic-ed together pictures of his friends' barium-coated sexual encounters, featuring intertwined tongues and blowjobs. Though how he managed to convince his male friends to lay their balls on an X-ray machine is quite beyond me.

Top: Wim Delvoye 'Sex-Rays'. Left-right, Juan Martin del Campo's: 'Love Boat', choice of attire, '3 Wishes'

Vivid meets Vargas

2005-01-20T05:33:00.000-08:00

Spot the difference between Vivid pornstar Savanna Samson (left), and Vargas' original Sheer Elegance painting (right)

Vivid are very inventive when it comes to marketing their stable of porn starlets. They've put them on snowboards, they're publishing a series of erotic novels based on their personal lives and Vivid movies, and last year they even unveiled a billboard on Sunset Boulevard with all their current Vivid girls proclaiming "Look We Can Even Erect a Billboard." Vivid's latest marketing ploy to introduce the girls to a new audience, (who say, might find the current porn climate a bit tacky), is to turn them into Vargas girls. As David Schlesinger, Vivid's vice president for licensing, stresses: "The images are romantic and sensual and are targeted to mainstream audiences and art collectors. They are not X-rated in any way." Fashion photographers Richard Dean and Len Prince, have recreated poses originally pencilled by Alberto Vargas and Gil Elvgren. So far, Savannah Samson has been turned into a mermaid and in a nod to George Petty, Tera Patrick curls on on her bed, while on the telephone. You can buy prints online here, if you have the spare $7500. And if you're wondering where Sunrise and Jenna are they're going to be a shot in a series of Film Noir poses in the near future.

Painting the town pink

2005-01-20T04:32:00.000-08:00

Honey's Hero: Fafi

When she was 17, Fabianne Sancry choose the pen-name Fafi and started tagging the streets of her hometown of Tolouse to impress the boys. Her first creations were sexy but grotesque Martian girls. She finally got the boys' attention after she changed tact and started drawing cute, curvy lolita-girls with hearts painted on their cheeks, pleasuring themselves on skateboards. She says her two biggest problems when she was starting out were cops, and kids coming up and asking her "why I was drawing a girl sucking dicks." Although being busted for painting public property carries a two month jail sentence in France, the cops never used to suspect her when she was out painting the town because she was a cute girl dolled up in an Adidas tracksuit and stiletto heels. When she did get arrested, she got a get out of jail free card when she agreed to paint one of her porny murals on the walls of the station. Fafi's designs are now all around the world, from tags on walls in Thailand, to toys inside vending machines in Tokyo, to the side of French Diet Coke cans. Fafi describes her girls as the type who go out and "rape and sequester the boys." And if you too, want to look like one of her strumpets, she's also designed a range of clothes based on what she'd think her "Fafi-nette" girls would like to wear. Check them out at fafi.net

Ebay of the day: Tera Patrick sex doll

2005-01-20T04:21:00.000-08:00

Stephen Ochs, the former Editor of the sex industry newpaper AVN, promises that his Tera Patrick sex doll signed by the likes of such porn luminaries as Ron Jeremy and Mary Carey "has never been used, except to decorate my cubicle." Although sadly not signed by Tera herself, its the perfect excuse to tell her story, read on below.

Reign of Tera

2005-01-20T04:14:00.000-08:00

Honey's Heroes: Tera Patrick

Tera Patrick, probably the most famous porn starlet today after Jenna Jameson, loves to hunt. Specifically she loves to track and blow to smithereens caribou, elk and pheasant with her medium bore rifle. She learnt when she was a kid growing up in Montana, when she also used to camp and fish with her American dad and Thai mother. They moved to San Francisco, where Tera was discovered by Elite Models aged 13, hanging out at Fisherman's Wharf, wearing an Ozzy Osbourne t-shirt. She spent five years modelling, during which she graced the pages of Vogue, before quitting and getting a degree in nursing and microbiology. As Tera herself says, "I can do a rough hard-core sex scene, then do a lecture on DNA. That’s just who I am."

"I spit, my llamas swallow"

2005-01-20T03:33:00.000-08:00

Honey's Heroes: Tera Patrick 2
Tera's porn career started with a nice fat cheque from Penthouse and Playboy, glamour modelling soon spiralled into some foot fetish and bondage tapes where she appeared under the name of Brooke Thomas. Some of her more famous blue movies under the name of Tera Patrick include Nice Rack 4 (they were, up until recently unblemished by silicon) and Virtual Sex with Tera Patrick, an interactive movie where you jerk off whilst Tera stares you directly in the eye, encouraging you to orgasm (Yeah, fuck my face baby!") One of her most recent films, the excellently-titled Reign of Tera, also stars her husband Spyder Jones (real name Evan Seinfeld), frontman for rock band Biohazard, who also starred as Jazz Hoyt in the prison TV series Oz. Tera is a good wife, she has a enormous tattoo on her ankle which says "Evan's Princess" and although she doesn't let him have sex with the other girls in their porno scenes, "I'll let the other girls give him a blowjob. Why not give him something extra? He's so good to me." Other things you might not have known about the beautiful Mrs Patrick is that she also knits, makes candles, likes watching porn films starring her with the sound turned down and won't do hard-core scenes with women. Oh, and she also once invested in a llama-breeding farm. Tera on llamas: "they spit, I swallow!"

1) Playgirl

2005-01-10T19:37:00.000-08:00

Celebrating three decades of porn mags for women

Although you might think that Playgirl stole its name from Hugh Hefner, founder Douglas Lambert actually named the magazine after a stripclub he owned in Orange County, California. He wanted to set up a porn mag for men, but his wife suggested he targeted women with naked pictures of men. It was 1973, at the height of the feminist movement, Cosmopolitan had just been the first magazine to ever feature a nude male centrefold, but for the first issue Playgirl played it safe with their centrefold protecting his modesty behind crossed legs. Letters of complaint from readers flooded in, and for their second issue they went full monty. By the end of the first year, sales peaked at 1.5 million. But thirty years later - which included a centrefold featuring Benji the dog and a $45,000 offer to Prince Charles to pose naked - the circulation is more like 300,000. There are still nlittle in the way of erections. One member of staff described how they tried to get round the anti-erection ban imposed by stockists by asking male models to work up a hard on, then press it down until it became just soft enough to point down. They called it "maximum tumescence in repose." They've launched Playgirl TV to find another way of making money, but the main problem is that Playgirl is just a replica of a men's mag with men dropped in instead of women. And the men are just as fake as the silicon, photoshopped men's mag fodder. They are fanta-coloured, a mountain-range of muscles and are too well depilated. They have names straight out of Sunset Beach, like Rolando, described in his bio as " a self-described loner who reads Quantum Physics for fun." In a word, they are gay. Which might explain why 30% of Playgirl's readership are gay men and out of all the readers I spoke to, the general consensus was that gay men buy it to wank over, women buy it as the spice to a hen party.

2) For Women

2005-01-07T18:21:00.000-08:00

Celebrating three decades of porn mags for women

For Women wanted you to be a BITCH. A Bold, Intelligent, Tough, Cool and Horny woman, that is. For the first issue in 1992, Kevin Costner showed some skin, the magazine asked whether vibrators could replace men, and nude guys were (ironically) photographed by ex-Penthouse models-turned-photographers. There was even a short story by Anais Nin. It sold 400,000 copies, and publisher Northern and Shell, immediately rushed out two other female porn magazines: Women On Top (a "hen party glossy for ladies who like to dance round their handbags") and Women Only ("A sexy version of Marie Claire".) The publisher of all three, Isabel Koprowski, became the acceptable face of porn in the media, casually dropping quotes like how she used to have a "cast-iron, Victorian fantasy hymen”. But Playgirl hardbody syndrome struck again. For Women's Editor Ruth Corbett even admitted that lots of the models were gay, because "gay men are the ones who look after their bodies." But apart from all these downfalls, the most simple one, as one For Women reader put it, was "not only did you have to build up the courage to brazenly stare at the Top Shelf with all the dirty raincoat brigade, I often had to ask them to pass down my porn, as I wasn't tall enough."

3) The Erotic Review

2005-01-07T17:30:00.000-08:00

Celebrating three decades of porn mags for women
Rowan Pelling, the "Editrice" of Erotic Review who quit after the magazine was taken over by the publisher of Penthouse last year, never thought of the magazine as pornography. Porn is something designed to give you an orgasm, and she seriously doubted that any "frenzied frottage" was going on over her features. Instead the magazine billed itself as the world's most intelligent sex magazine, covering subjects from burlesque dancers, to the erotic joys of travelling on Eurostar, to erotica featuring a talking vulva. The ER started life as a couple of pages of A4 stapled together into a newsletter for customers of The Erotic Print Society. One of the main reasons it escalated into a magazine, was down to its ability to entice writers like Barry Humphries and DBC Pierre to write for them. Pelling described the 25% female readership as wistful young women who yearned for life to be like a Forties film, the kind who preferred their man illustrated aroused, than photographed on the soft. The kind who when the magazine compliled a list of the sexiest men alive, included Gordon Brown and the Dalai Lama in their top 25. It is a refreshing change to have highbrow sex, but it could be too much. For example, a review of a Fever swingers party started as follows: "Bedizened in diamante, entombed in velvet, we set off proudly marching towards nowhere. If only. We are going to a party. Open house? Open bed. Well darlings what can I say?". Sometimes it’s better to call a spade a spade.

4) Kutt

2005-01-05T17:17:00.000-08:00

Celebrating three decades of porn mags for women

Jessica Gysel didn't pussyfoot around the subject when choosing a name for her Dutch Dyke Zine, opting for Kutt (the Dutch word for cunt.) It also happened to rhyme with their brother magazine Butt, which billed itself as "The Interesting Faggot Magazine For Homosexuals And The Men who Love Them." Set up in 2002, Kutt was pretty, purple and playful. The A5 zine was printed on lilac paper and included photostories of "Four Dutch Women Mudwrestling", porn colouring-in pictures and, betraying its style mag roots, an interview with Chloe Sevigny telling us that she's not had full on lesbo sex yet, but that she's completely hot for it. It was sold in hipster stores around Europe and Magma bookshop in London, but closed despite being able to do what most jazz mags can't: get advertising from people like Gucci and Lee>, as opposed to Tampax and exercise videos. One of the most interesting things about Kutt though, was how many straight women read it as well: as one hetero female reader said " I like looking at girls' bodies. New Woman and Vogue flaunt them at me every month. I loathe the pnuematic, hair extension-ness of Playboy, but hot indie lesbian girls, now that is something I can totally sweat over."

5) Sweet Action

2005-01-04T17:00:00.000-08:00

Celebrating 30 years of porn mags for women

When jewellery designer Robin Adams tried to find some good quality straight porn for a hen night, she says all she could find was steroid-enhanced beefcake care of Playgirl. Sensing a gap in the market, she got together with stylist friends Micole Taggart and Hope D and they set up a porn mag that worships cock. Fluid drenched studs are banned, the Editors only pick straight guys they fancy. Scruffy, tattooed Jake Gyllenghal types, erect and with all their body hair intact are shot in their own apartments, sometimes with the digital date still in the bottom corner of the photo. Another thing the ladies banned was porn poetry because they were "fed up with porn wrapped in a pretty bow of erotica." If you've never heard of the underground grafitti artists/band members they interview, it doesn't matter because the design is gorgeous and there's also cartoons, penis playing cards and a brilliant field report on the lost art of the handjob, where the reporter gets tips and photographed whilst stroking three guys off. Sweet Action isn't pushing an agenda of erotic empowerment for women, in their first Editors letter, they wrote they weren't even sure whether women are ready and willing to buy porn. They just want to have fun and make a porn magazine that they want to read themselves. Looks like they're not the only ones. The best letter they've been sent so far reads "Although I am eighty years old, I am not in my second childhood. If your magazine is as advertised, I've been waiting for such a one for many a year."

“My pussy is the temple of learning”

2005-01-03T16:13:00.000-08:00

Ebay of the day: Madonna's Sex Book

Before Dita Von Teese, there was Dita, the slutty dominatrix alter-ego that Madonna tried on for a while in her Sex Book and early Nineties Erotica period. Both borrowed their name from Dita Parlo, a German silent screen actress from the Twenties. Madonna took her fandom seriously, using the name "Dita" to sign in to hotels, and even went as far as having the initials "D.P" engraved into her gold tooth. In 1991, Madonna approached Time Warner with the idea of doing a coffee table book full of erotic pictures of her fantasies. Their only stipulations were: no desecration of religious symbols, no child pornography and no animals. So Madonna recruited Isabella Rosselini, Naomi Campbell and Vanilla Ice and explored her bondage, sapphic, older man and rape fantasies with her cast of extras. Steven Meisel, Madonna's shutterbug of choice, shot over 25,000 photographs, which were whittled down to a final cut of 475. For one, the police were called when Madonna started eating a Margherita in a pizza parlour in LA, with nothing but high heels and a smile.

"I think I have a dick in my brain, I don't need one between my legs"

2005-01-03T15:49:00.000-08:00

Madonna Sex Book 2

After a last minute name change from The Rock to Sex, the book was released in October 1992. It was bound into an aluminium jacket and came with a photostory comic book about an S&M party and a CD single remix of her latest single Erotica, packaged to look like a giant condom. It cost $50 and sold 1.5 million copies around the world, making Madonna an estimated $20 million. But the press ripped Madonna to shreds, especially for a photo of Madonna dressed as a schoolgirl being raped by two skinheads. She defended herself by saying that this was just a fantasy with three willing parties and with the revelation that she had been raped during her first year and understood the devestating reality. You have to admire a celebrity for being so candid about sex for once. But although some of the pictures are incredible hot, you can see why the critics panned the text in the book. Lots of it comes across as comical rather than arousing, particularly when she starts calling sex "aardvarking."

FYI: To recreate the Dita look, head to the Pleasure Chest in West Hollywood, where all the S/M accessories in Sex were purchased.

Dita in The Chelsea Girl

2005-01-03T15:36:00.000-08:00

The storyline of the Sex book comic strip

Dita's night in with her boyfriend is ruined when his sister, her friend and a delivery girl descend on them and kickstart off an S&M party. Leather lingerie is donned and Dita's boyfriend indulges in a little incestuous making out with his sister. A fight breaks out, a dead body falls out of a closet and somehow the moral of the story is life is too short to waste on mean women or bad boyfriends.

7) Stranger Than Paradise

2004-12-20T15:15:00.000-08:00

The Honeytrap Guide to London Burlesque
Billed as a “Twisted exotic romp of Balkan beats, gypsy laments and cossack high kicks”, Stranger Than Paradise takes place on the last Sunday of every month, amongst the totem poles, bamboo and crocodile skins of the South London Pacific Bar. On a recent Pirate themed night, the Gypsy punk band was followed by the burlesque performer who dressed up in different food groups (trifle, pitta bread), whilst cigarette girls walked around the club selling eye patches and pirate knick knacks out of their trays.

The first Sunday of every month, 7pm-1am, South London Pacific bar, 340 Kennington Road, SE11
www.strangerthanparadise.co.uk

6) Lady Luck

2004-12-18T14:56:00.000-08:00

The Honeytrap Guide to London Burlesque

The dance floor is a swirl of couples swing dancing and Leo Sayer has been seen in audience watching a lady covered in a smattering of sequins dancing around her pole. The night is situated underneath lapdancing club Secrets, but while the girls upstairs try and separate the male audience and their money, downstairs in Lady Luck, it is all about the tease rather than the strip, for the burlesque performers.

Every Friday from 10-3, underneath Secrets on 34 Eversholt Street, NW1
www.ladyluckclub.co.uk

5) Time for Tea

2004-12-15T14:33:00.000-08:00

The Honeytrap Guide to London Burlesque
Johnny and Suzette, the other founders of Modern Times, have converted the ground floor of their five-storey Georgian house into a 25 seater cinema. They hire it out for parties, where you can chose from their collection of super 8 vintage girlie movies (all car washing and bubble baths) or hire spools from the BFI. Afterwards, they invite guests upstairs into their home which is timewarped straight out of the 1940s. But beware of the dog. Their Great Dane has been known attack balls of wool when the Knitting Club held their party there.

To book Time for Tea, call 020 7729 2697
www.timefortea.net

4) Wyndham's Wondrous Wandering Woo Woowagon Peepshow

2004-12-14T14:13:00.000-08:00

The Honeytrap Guide to London Burlesque

David Piper, one of the founders of The Modern Times club, has also brought the travelling burlesque show back to life. On balmier London evenings, he drives around a "hot-rodded Piaggio coffee van", with a back compartment so small that the girl within it is a trained contortionist. For £2, gentlemen receive a miniature Sailor Jerry’s rum and a peek through the red velvet curtains. There they are titillated by a nearly naked lady bathed in flickery light so that she looks like she is in a vintage 8mm film. Next up, David expands his business, with a Gentleman's Club in a lorry which will travel round the country.

The Woowoo Wagon is also available for hire, see www.woowoowagon.com for details

3) The Modern Times Club

2004-12-13T04:49:00.000-08:00

The Honeytrap Guide to London burlesque

Although the burlesque artists on stage might wear corsets and pasties, the Modern Times audience covers up in glamorous vintage gowns and three-piece suits. For their Halloween Nightporter’s Ball at the Great Eastern hotel, they performed a ritual voodoo sacrifice, involving a curved dagger, bowl of milk and a bebop saxophone soundtrack, but most months they simply “conduct the most extensive rakery for about 200 years” in Throgmortons at Bank.
The secretive Modern Times is by invite only

Build your own vintage porn library 4

2004-12-13T04:25:00.000-08:00

Café Flesh
Café Flesh kicks off with a housewife and an exterminator dressed as a rat, having sex in front of three men in high chairs, dressed in baby drag. Part porno, part performance art, part Z-movie science fiction, Café Flesh is set in a future where 99% of the human race have been rendered “sex negative” by a nuclear holocaust, so that the touch of another person makes them violently ill. The unscathed 1% of “sex positives” are forced to perform in nightclubs, reminding the positives what they are missing. By setting all the sex on stage, the director Rinse Dream can dress it up into weird tableaux where a boss/secretary secuction gets warped into a girl fucking a man dressed as a giant pencil. The sex is made even more naughty by the sex negative audience watching every move, who the director also parallels with us, the voyeuristic audience watching at home. Apart from the creative, weird sex scenes, the two other best things about the film are the New Wave, ridiculously Eighties costumes and the industrial synthy cabaret music, composed by Mitchell Froom (hammond organ player with The Corrs.) Check out, Café Flesh 2 for even more kitschy sex, involving a bullfight and twins in matching electric chairs.

Things to look out for: Angel being discovered as a sex positive and loosing her virginity on stage, while disembodied arms stick up through holes in the stage floor, clicking along in time to the music.

2) Rudegirls

2004-12-09T11:24:00.000-08:00

The Honeytrap guide to London burlesque
Ladies-only night Rudegirls describes itself as a “lipstick smearing night of corruption for the fairer sex, be she staight, gay or bi.” For their Halloween party, their headline act jumped out of a coffin and poured a bottle of vodka over herself, while singing “Life is a Cabaret”. Expect to play strip poker to the sound of 50s lounge music, while wearing one of the following items from their dress code: bikini, vintage lingerie, rollerskates, or yashmak. The next Rudegirl event is Friday 4th February in the Penthouse at Egg.

1) The Whoopee Club

2004-12-09T10:59:00.000-08:00

The Honeytrap Guide to London burlesque

The Whoopee Club has seen everything from pole-dancing water nymphs (the Million Dollar Mermaid themed night), to a tassle-twirling mono-browed Frida Kahlo (Mexican Madness). The founders, Lara and Tamara, also run a Whoopee boutique, where they design a pair of knickers each month to match their theme, and an agency, so you can hire sailorgirls and sword swallowers for your own party. Their next night Kiss of her Flesh is Egyptian-themed, and is being held at the Great Eastern Hotel on 19th December, to be followed in June by a synchronised swimming extravaganza.

Tease Please: a guide to London burlesque

2004-12-09T10:13:00.000-08:00

The word burlesque comes from the latin burlare- to laugh at. In the mid-nineteenth century burlesque meant the comedies that the lower classes used to put on to parody the upper classes, with the female actresses flaunting their bodies in tights to outrage Victorian society. Over time, it evolved into today’s defintion of striptease, with the girls showing more and more skin to keep pulling the punters in. Burlesque was banned in New York in the late ‘30s, the advent of television in the ‘50s then emptied the rest of the burlesque theatres around the country into their living rooms to be bewitched by their new TV sets. The revival was kickstarted in the 80s, when Dixie Evans, who was known as the Marilyn Monroe of burlesque in its heyday, collected together Jayne Mansfield’s heart-shaped couch along with Gypsy Rose Lee’s glove collection and started the Exotic World museum on Route 66, between LA and Las Vegas. Hollywood turned the spotlight on burlesque with Moulin Rouge and its Lady Marmalade video. The trend trickled over to London from America about two years with the opening of The Whoopee Club. Now, in today’s world of Abi Titmuss and Zoo magazine, burlesque suddenly feels fresh and inspiring again. It’s a strip club without silicon, with curvy body shapes. The boys get all the titillation of seeing a nearly nudie lady and the girls feel comfortable and love the glamour. Here’s our guide to the top ten burlesque nights in London. Just remember, the unspoken rule is that the audience is just as interesting to look at as the performers, so dress up. And if your going to try and twirl your nipple tassles, the trick is not to look down.

Build your own vintage porn library 3

2004-12-09T07:59:00.000-08:00

The Devil in Miss Jones
Georgina Spelvin, was never supposed to have been the lead in The Devil in Miss Jones. She was originally hired as the on-set caterer for the 27 cast and crew. She was asked to stand in and read the lines for the female role whilst they were casting another role, but the director Gerard Damiano was so floored by her reading that he re-wrote the script for her. He changed the heroine, in Spelvin’s own words, from a 19-year old buxom sexpot, to a 36-year old flatchested, slightly cross-eyed, old maid. Damiano, had just had enormous box office success with the comedic Deep Throat, but in 1972, thought the time had come for a good pornographic art film. So he named his protagonist Miss Jones after the Marquis de Sade novel Justine, and started his next opus with his virgin spinster slitting her wrists in the bath. She is condemned to hell for her sin of suicide, but when she meets the cheerful, understanding Lord of Darkness (dressed in a black polo neck), he allows her a short reprieve back on earth to commit the sin of lust. The author Anthony Petkovich describes Spelvin’s performance perfectly as: “She not only fucked men, women, snakes, and bananas, but performed anals and double penetrations with the sincere voraciousness of a starved cannibal unleashed in an over-crowded aerobics class.”

Things to look out for:
Georgina and (her real life girlfriend at the time) Judith Hamilton simultaneously performing fellatio on Marc Stevens, and sharing his snowball.

Premature articulation

2004-12-09T07:09:00.000-08:00

Karaoke translates in Japanese as “dead orchestra”. Pornaoke translates as contestants adding the moan and groan track to a silent clip of vintage porn. The porn karaoke craze started in Philadelphia, then Berliners got very excited about it, now Club Ego in Edinburgh has just opened up the first UK pornaoke night, with the tagline “We provide the scenes, You provide the screams.” On arrival, you are handed a menu of 30 second clips from European hardcore flicks to choose from, including Scene 3: Position Reverse Cowgirl and Scene 7: Position Ménage à Trois le Homme. The compere, Perrier award-winning stand up, Garth Cruickshanks, asks you to chose your porn name (Randy Rimshot and Labia Minora are his favourites so far), then all you have to do is come for the crowd, while a wah-wah guitarist accompanies you. Spoilports Scottish Women Against Pornography have called the night “sexist and tawdry beyond belief”, so the club has been forced to place cartoon beavers and cockerels over the offending parts.
Idea via sexblo.gs

Build your own vintage porn library 2

2004-11-30T05:29:00.000-08:00

The Opening of Misty Beethoven

Everything from Carmen, to Alice in Wonderland, even the Grimm fairy tales, has been given a pornographic literary twist. But none have done it on quite such an impressive scale as The Opening of Misty Beethoven, based on George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion. Professor Henry Higgins becomes Dr Seymour Love, who instead of teaching Misty how to speak properly and become a lady, teaches her to be a sexual nymph and make three men come at the same time. Released in 1975, Screw magazine said in its review: "Hollywood porn is here... right now! No other film is going to equal this one.” The film took (an unheard of for porn) year and a half to shoot, with luscious sets that spanned over two continents.

Misty part 2

2004-11-30T05:15:00.000-08:00

It was the lead actress Constance Money, probably the most beautiful woman to ever star in porn, that stamped the film with cult status. But the director, Henry Paris and his leading lady didn’t have a very harmonious relationship. He christened her with her porn name Constance Money because she was constantly asking him for money, but she never ended up getting paid for the film. She said about Paris, “The man is sick. Anyone who squirts somebody in the face with K-Y Jelly and cottage cheese for ten hours a day has got to be doing it for more than just film.” Constance retired after eight more porn flicks, reverted to her real name Susan Jensen, and moved to Alaska to open a restaurant. The legend of Misty Beethoven, has recently been resurrected by the porn industry though, with a DVD musical, starring Randy Spears, Sunset Thomas and a prosthetic penis that sings “the penis is the ruler of the world!”

Things to look out for
- the incredibly kinky menage a trois where Misty uses a strap-on on porn publisher Lawrence Lehman

Skin Clicks: porn photography 1

2004-11-29T13:28:00.000-08:00

Capturing the bits you're not supposed to see in porn has always been a fertile territory for photographers and artists. From gay porn make-up touching up, to porn with all the sex edited out, here are some of the best.

Elyse Butler

Elyse Butler took the photo above of porn actress Nikki Hunter limbering up in her dressing room before going out to do a re-enactment of a rape scene on a pool table. It’s part of her series entitled Sexual Tension which has just won her top prize in a 2004 College Photographer of the Year competition. It pans back from a Wicked porn shoot to show the before, the after and the bits where the male porn star “Ace” is caught crying in the corner of the studio, because he failed to get wood on his first ever porn shoot. The photos are untitled, but the captions tell each one’s story. For this photo: “Hunter has been doing pornography for about two years and was a stripper previously for eight years. 'It's good money,' she says, 'Much better than just stripping... I'll make about a thousand just tonight.”

Skin Clicks: porn photography 2

2004-11-29T13:27:00.000-08:00

Larry Sultan
Larry Sultan’s first introduction to porn came when he was commissioned by Maxim UK to do a photo story of a day in the life of a porn star. The shoot was two blocks away from his childhood home in San Fernando Valley, which also happens to be the hub of the Adult Entertainment industry in America. He walked in to find he was in the house of his old local dentist and that there were six naked women daisy-chained on the dentist’s bed. San Fernandans often rent out their homes to the porn industry for their three day shoots, so Larry’s photos are named after the streets on which the middle class homes are located. He has been visiting porn sets for the last five years now to compile The Valley, a series of photos that steps back from the action to not only include the lights, crew and cable but also the fake flowers and piles of washing up which frames it. The picture above shows porn actress Sharon Wild taking a break between scenes.

Skin Clicks: porn photography 3

2004-11-29T11:33:00.000-08:00

Ken Probst

Ken Probst got smitten with his subject matter of photographing the non-glossy bits of gay porn, when he was asked to participate in a nationwide project entitled A Day in the Life of Gay and Lesbian America. It led to freelance work as a photographer for porn publicity pictures and video boxes. He took advantage of being able to access all areas of the porn set and started capturing all the bits you aren’t supposed to see. Now compiled into a book called por ne-graf'ik, his beautiful black and white photos capture the absurdity and mundaneness that goes on behind the scenes. In one, make-up artist “Brian” is caught mid-touch-up powdering “Jeff’s” balls, in another a gay-for-pay male pornstar is seen preparing for his scene by jerking off to Penthouse.

Skin Clicks: porn photography 4

2004-11-29T11:00:00.000-08:00

Laura Carton

Doesn’t look like porn? That’s because the pornstars from www.ebonyplayas.com fucking on top of the grave have been photoshopped out. It all started when the artist, Laura Carton, was cruising internet porn sites and was jarred by a copy of The Grapes of Wrath lying on the floor while a couple went for it doggy style. She decided for her next art project to trawl the internet for porn with sets that told a story, then edit out the sex for the viewer, carefully painting pixels back into the void left by the eliminated pornstars. It’s up to you, to project exactly what happened on top of the grave, the putting green of a crazy golf course, or on top of the pony posing against an ocean backdrop.

Skin Clicks: porn photography 5

2004-11-29T10:36:00.000-08:00

Timothy Greenfield-Sanders

Things that you notice when you look at Timothy Greenfield-Sander’s portraits of pornstars clothed and then replicating the exact same pose naked: 1) How much the amount of body hair varies between all the different performers in the industry and 2) How much more confident they appear nude. Greenfield-Sanders has taken portraits of everyone from Orson Welles to Nelson Mandela over his photographic career, but for his book XXX: 30 Porn-Star Portraits, he turns his lens onto everyone from Jenna Jameson (above) to Ron Jeremy. It’s all becomes a strange combination of high brow and smutty though, with the essays about the nature of pornography from Timothy’s celebrity mates John Malkovich, Gore Vidal and John Waters. As Greenfield-Sanders himself illustrated perfectly while promoting the book, in a Nerve interview he says “the only awkward moment came when one porn star asked if anyone wanted to fluff him” and then tells Salon, that his photo of Briana Banks “was inspired by a Cézanne painting of a young boy.”

Build your own vintage porn library

2004-11-24T07:13:00.000-08:00

Debbie Does Dallas
Debbie Does Dallas is the epic tale of a squad of cheerleaders, who become the neighbourhood hookers in order to raise cash for Debbie, the head of the squad, to try out for the ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Cheerleaders. But the strangest thing about one of the best selling pornos ever made, is how little information there is on the internet about it. Channel 4 are making a documentary about Debbie, but the producer had to place an ad in the Village Voice, asking for any information about the film. They are not even sure whether its star, Debbie De Santo, aka Bambi Woods, died due to a heroin overdose, or whether she killed her porn alter-ego and is living a non-porn existence elsewhere. What is known about the film, is it was made in 1978, in the wake of an obsession in the US about the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders. The general manager of the Dallas Cowboys decided to revamp the team and its costume in 1972, getting rid of the boys on the squad and hiring models and pretty girls who would be taught by a professional choreographer. Floods of requests for appearances came in, including one (that was declined) to appear in Playboy. It was in this climate, that the cheerleading porno was made.

Cheerleader chicks suck dick: Debbie part 2

2004-11-24T05:38:00.000-08:00

The filming of Debbie Does Dallas took place at the New York State University at Stony Brook. The producers neglected to mention that it was a porn film, and so the college administrators gave them full run of the University, and even have cameos in the film. When Debbie came out, they were fired. One of the things that catapulted the film into the public eye, were the lawsuits that the Dallas Cowboys launched. They sued because the cheerleading costumes in the film were too similar to theirs and because of the “You’ll do more than cheer for this X-Dallas cheerleader” tagline on the film poster. Debbie was even turned into a musical in 2001, but in the bits where sex is supposed to occur, they insert a song instead. One of the highlights of the play, is the song from my favourite scene, where Mr Hardwick sings to Roberta in a candle shop: "Take a candle/Guide it through/Smell it now/Hey, that's you!"

Things to look out for
*Bambi’s “crazy eye” method of acting. Not high on cocaine.
*The candle shop scene: “I think she’s ready, dear”.
*The cheerleader with the caesarian scar in the shower scene, who mysteriously disappears for the rest of the film.

5 facts about Hugh Hefner

2004-11-19T09:28:00.000-08:00

1) He bought his burial plot next to Marilyn Monroe’s for $85,000, so that he could spend eternity next to his first Playmate.

2) He has an endangered marsh rabbit named after him, the sylvilagus palustris hefneri.

3) At his mansion Hugh has both a zoo, where he keep pet monkeys, flamingos, rabbits and llamas, and an aviary where the birds are fed peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

4) His harem of girlfriends has been reduced from seven to three, due to rivalry amongst the girls. There was one reported incident of sabotage involving hair removing cream being put in another girlfriend’s shampoo bottle.

5) His vibrator of choice is the Hitachi Magic Wand.

Fish 'n' Grits: they like big butts and they cannot lie

2004-11-19T08:08:00.000-08:00

When launching their hip hop meets porn magazine Fish ‘n’ Grits, co-founders Camille Burgos and Joe "Fatal" decided the editorial stategy should be “in your face.” So for the first issue the coverline emblazoned across Method Man and naked porn actress Solveig reads: “Don’t front. Them sweaty panties got you open.” Camille Burgos was a marketing manager for artists like Mary J. Blige. It was her job to sell sex, yet all the big porn magazines like Playboy and Hustler ignored coloured women. So Burgos and Fatal decided the cover would always feature the most famous black and latino adult starlets, posing with the biggest rappers, like Snoop Dogg (who has two porno movies out through Hustler) and Mystikal (who just got six years in prison for forcing his hairstylist to perform sexual acts on him.) Inside the naked girls ask the boys Q&As about their fetishes and sexual experiences. Other regulars include rappers taking readers on a sex tour around their home towns hot spots, "Rimming Up" is about rappers and their cars and the last page of the magazine is always "Backshot" - a close up of a female porn star’s booty. Next up comes F’n’G mucky videos, a clothing line and a porn magazine for ladies.

Honeytrap Hero: Alberto Vargas

2004-11-18T14:06:00.000-08:00

When asked why he only painted women, Peruvian Alberto Joaquin Vargas Y Chavez responded, "show me something more beautiful than a beautiful woman, and then I'll go paint it." His first job was painting Ziegfeld Follies showgirls, learning "the difference between nudes and lewds." In 1930, he moved to LA, where he created set designs and painted portraits of studio stars. A union walk-out by studio artists resulted in Vargas being blacklisted in Hollywood and labelled a communist. Broke, he returned to New York, where he replaced George Petty as the pin-up artist for Esquire. The publisher didn’t like the sound of his name and asked him to change it to “Varga”. Each Varga gatefold appeared with a verse, for example “March I’m not so fond of, my suitors grow quite lax, instead of paying compliments, they’re paying income tax!” Vargas grew in fame, with even the New Yorker saying that the artist "could make a girl look nude if she were rolled up in a rug.”

Alberto Vargas: part 2

2004-11-18T13:02:00.000-08:00

A year after Vargas joined Esquire, America went to war and so did the Varga Girl. Vargas designed mascots for the forces, and the GI’s copied her onto their uniforms, planes, submarines and torpedoes. The US government sanctioned the Varga Girl as a morale builder and let Esquire send six million special military issues free of charge to troops overseas, with a Varga Girl on the back cover accompanied by the text "She’s all yours, Boys!" There were reports of several soldiers lying dead with a Varga girl picture in their hands. Vargas’ relationship with Esquire ended with a court battle, with Esquire claiming they owned the name Varga. So for the 150 paintings he created for Playboy over a 18 year period, his girls were now called “Vargas Girls”. He died in 1982, aged 86, having spent the last years of his life collecting rare cacti and listening to Beethoven.

The Bunny Logo

2004-11-17T10:47:00.000-08:00

Playboy was originally going to be called Stag Party, and its logo was a stag in a smoking jacket, drawn by cartoonist Arv Miller. But five weeks before launching, Stag magazine slapped Hugh Hefner with a trademark infringement suit. Hugh went back to his list of names and choose the second one – Playboy, named after a car company that his friend’s mother had worked for. The rabbit was simply chosen because bunnies like lots of sex. For the second issue, the Art Director Art Paul re-drew the rabbit in half an hour, into one of the world’s most famous logos. The rabbit head has now appeared on the cover of every issue since the second, often hidden as a beauty mark, reflection in a girl’s eye or a knot in a bikini. One of Hugh’s favourite punchlines is that without the last minute name change, as he would never have been able to build a nightclub empire, as waitresses with antlers on their head just doesn't hold the same appeal.
(Did you spot the bunny bubble in the picture?)

FYI: In 1959 a New York reader was able to send Playboy a letter with the rabbit head as the only address.

The incarnations of the Playboy bunny (from l-r): Arv Miller's debonaire rabbit, Art Paul's first sketch, the logo today

Twirly Girly: tassel spinning for beginners

2004-11-16T07:18:00.000-08:00

Miss Indigo Blue (left) and her Bad Kitty pasties (right)

On November 16th at the International Workshop Festival here in London, Miss Indigo Blue will teach you the art of applying and twirling your nipple tassles in order to become a “helicopter girl”. Miss Indigo Blue, otherwise known as Amelia Ross-Gilson, is a member of BurlyQ Queer Cabaret, alongside fellow twirlers, Eva Sabotage and The Naughty Librarian. Indigo’s signature act is stripping out of her Wonderwoman costume to demonstate how acrobatic her breasts are. Twirling can be taught over close-fitting clothes for the coy girls and nipple pasties from Miss Indigo Blue’s company “Twirlygirl.net” will also be on sale. Check out The Bad Kitties pasties. And remember, the trick is not to look down.

Maximum Offence: Maxim's 2005 Calendar

2004-11-16T06:40:00.000-08:00

Miss February: Mother Theresa (left) and Miss November:
Princess Diana (right)

Free with this month's Maxim is the "Greatest Women Ever" calendar. At first glance, it's 12 oily chicks with silicon-sculpted breasts. At second glance you see that the nudie ladies are depicting historical figures and that Mother Theresa's modesty is being protected by a begging bowl. My favourite though, is the Princess Diana standing in front of a strategically placed minefield sweeper. Editor Greg Gutfeld says it's a better tribute to Her Ex-Royal Highness than that abysmal fountain.

FYI: Before he was editor of Maxim, Greg was fired from his last job as Editor of Stuff in the US, for sending a gaggle of drunken dwarves to disrupt a magazine conference.

The Big Bunny: the Playboy jet

2004-11-16T03:59:00.000-08:00

One of Hugh Hefner’s most playboy pieces of advice is “if you buy a private plane, you should have a bed installed.” Except he didn’t have one bed installed in his private plane, he had 12. In the Seventies when Hugh had a mansion in both Chicago and Los Angeles, he used to fly between the two in his nine million dollar, 119-foot long McDonnell-Douglas DC-9 jet. It was called “The Big Bunny” and painted black with a white Playboy bunny logo on the tail. It came equipped with a bar, a lounge, a disco, a sunken Roman bath, a crystal dinner set for 36 guests and Hugh’s own personal king-size round waterbed, complete with seatbelts, so he didn’t have to get up when the plane landed. The four air hostesses were called “Jet Bunnies” and they were the cream of the crop from the Playboy Bunnies. Instead of bunny ears, the girls donned black leather mini-dresses and a white aviator, Playboy-logoed scarf. Not only did the plane zig-zag Hugh to all his Playboy resorts around the world, it also took Elvis on tour around America and flew aid out to Vietnam. After Hugh settled in LA in 1976, the glamorous marketing tool for a Playboy lifestyle was sold to Aero Mexico, and is now used to deliver mail around South America.

Ebay of the day: Playboy 40th anniversary guitar

2004-11-16T03:40:00.000-08:00

Marilyn never actually posed for her Playboy centrefold, the photo had already been around for four and a half years, when Hugh Hefner bought it for $500 from the manufacturer of a pin-up calender. The reason the photo even exists, is because of Marilyn’s car. She was 22 and a struggling actress when she met the photographer, Tom Kelley Sr. She ran out of fuel on Sunset Boulevard and he gave her his card and lent her five dollars to get home. Six months later, she reclined on red velvet for him because she needed the $50 fee to get her car out of the pound. After Kelley sold the photo for the calender, Marilyn’s fame began to rise. After “The Asphalt Jungle”, someone spotted the resemblance between the anonymous “Miss Golden Dreams” and Marilyn, and tried to blackmail her. Marilyn thwarted the scheme, by announcing it to the press herself. When a reporter asked her what she had on during the shoot, Marilyn responded “It’s not true that I had nothing on! I had the radio on.”

Playboy week

2004-11-16T03:06:00.000-08:00

Bunnies are back!
Playboy clubs are reopening after a 20 year hiatus. Coupled with the fact that a Fender Stratocaster guitar screenprinted with the Playboy's first centrefold , Marilyn Monroe had just been released on ebay, means that this is Playboy week on Honeytrap. An excuse to put up lots of pictures of bushy-tailed bunnies and bombard you with the facts you never knew about the magazine that men "only read for the articles"...

Honey's hero: Russ Meyer

2004-11-10T13:48:00.000-08:00

"Your old man's been blasted out of his wheels, and your king-size brother's been twisted like a pretzel. You're all that's left, lover, and you won't be around for long.”

Ernest Hemingway paid for Russ Meyer to loose his virginity. Meyer was 19 years old and a combat newreel cameraman and Hemingway was his commanding officer. Hemingway took his unit to a brothel in Paris, where Meyer says he choose the one with the biggest breasts. After the war, Meyer was an industrial filmmaker for a while, his motivation to get into cheesecake photography stemmed from wanting “to get into the shorts of women who were very well endowed in their superstructure”. He went on to shoot six centrefolds for Playboy and when he started his career in pornography, or “tittie-boo” as he liked to call it, it was from strip clubs and Playmates that he recruited his actresses.

FYI: Meyer found Turana Satana, his half-Cherokee and half-Japanese starlet in Faster Pussycat at a strip joint. She is now a dental hygienist.

King Leer: Russ Meyer part 2

2004-11-10T13:28:00.000-08:00

Honey's hero

His first feature film, The Immoral Mr Teas, in which the lead cycles around Oakland delivering false teeth and looking through the clothes of women with his x-ray vision, was shot in four days at the cost of $24,000. It grossed one million dollars. Meyer made 25 movies in total, all of which he wrote, directed and edited himself. He was also solely responsible for the casting of the double-F breasted starlets with names like Melissa Mounds, Candy Samples, Kitten Natividad, and Foxy Lae. His most famous film is Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! about three go-go dancers who go on a killing spree. Feminists love Meyer because all his women are super-vixens and his men are wimpy. But Meyer just loves big breasts, believing that “a woman's place is primarily in the kitchen and the bath and the bedroom. Not necessarily in that order."

Russ Meyer died on 23rd September 2004, aged 82

Where A-list meets D-cup

2004-11-10T06:02:00.000-08:00

Star by Pamela Anderson
Book review

Pamela’s best friend, David LaChapelle shot her cover photo

Pamela used her porn star name (the name of her golden labrador combined with the street she grew up on), to name her heroine Star Wood Leigh. The parallels between Star and Pammie don’t end there. Star’s plot seems to be a identikit version of her author’s life, with just the brand names changed. So when Pamela was ‘discovered’ by being flashed up on a giant TV screen at a football game wearing a Labatts t-shirt, the beer company becomes Zaxs. Playboy becomes Mann magazine, Home Improvement, Tool Time and Baywatch is Lifeguards Inc. In the 12 chapters, Star gets through 12 men, one woman and two orgies. When asked who had more sex – her or her alter ego, Pammie said they were about even. The best bit of the sex scenes is trying to work out which characters are meant to be Brett Michaels, Kid Rock, Sylvester Stallone, David Charvet, Marcus Schenkenberg and all of the other celebrities Pamela has dated.

FYI: Donna D'Errico, a Baywatch co-star, recently said about Pammie "if she had as many dicks sticking out of her as she’s had in her, she’d look like a porcupine”.

Star book review: part 2

2004-11-10T05:11:00.000-08:00

Eric Shaw Quinn, Pamela’s ghostwriter, does not want to stay invisible

But for someone who’s had as much sex as Pammie’s had, you’d expect the sex scenes to be a bit more saucy. If Jackie Collins can manage sex scenes with amyl nitrate in them, then Pammie should be able to do better than “the strange feel of his erection in her hand, flesh like velour wrapped around a bird bone” and "not the most imaginative lover, but like a favorite dildo, he was always ready to go". What make the bad writing even worse is the fact that Pamela didn’t write the book herself, she wrote it with the help of a ghostwriter, Eric Shaw Quinn. They met at her house every Friday for seven months. So, working out the maths, Pamela “wrote” her first, 294 page novel, in 28 days. She sums up her book as, "you can either read it on the beach or the toilet. It's not like it's a difficult read." But with a ghostwriter, it should be a better one. Pammie and Eric are working on the sequel, “Star Struck”, out the middle of 2005. Expect a sex tape, involving a suspiciously Tommy Lee-like character to turn up.

Three of Terry’s tattoos and the stories behind them

2004-11-05T09:47:00.000-08:00

Terry Richardson fact of the day
(or an excuse to put a beautiful nudie picture up)

-Terry’s says he is proud of his manhood, so proud that not only do you see it in every state of arousal in his photographs, he also has his pet-name for his cock “T-bone”, tattooed just above his belly button.

- The letters SSA inked over his heart stand for Signal Street Alcoholics, the teenage gang that he set up when he lived on Signal Street in Hollywood.

- The other tattoo on Terry’s upper torso is a picture of him as a child crying. One day when Terry was nine, his Mum was picking him up from the psychologist when a lorry rear-ended her. It left her in a coma for a month and afterwards disabled and having to wear diapers.

click for (terrifying) pictures of Terry's tattoos

Ebay of the day: Porn Snowboard

2004-11-04T10:39:00.000-08:00

Travis Wood, the vice-president of marketing for Sims Snowboards is obsessed with porn. It was his idea to commission a series of snowboard featuring porn starlets from the Vivid Stable, with the tagline "The Only Boards You'll Ever Want to Sleep With". The lady you would be standing on here is Kody, star of porn classics such as Dykes of Hazzard, Pussypotamus and Hey Mom I’m Not a Virgin Anymore. There’s also a topless Jenna Jameson board, whose official Vivid line on the product was "You don't have to be a good snowboarder as long as you get out on the slopes and you have one of these boards - you'll look like you know what you're doing". It's not the first time Vivid and Travis Wood have collaborated, Wood is also on the board of directors at snowboarding hotel, The Block , in Lake Tahoe. As well as having rooms sponsored and decorated by Roxy and Zoo York, there’s also a Vivid room, complete with a stripper pole, mirrored floors and an entire wall of Vivid porn DVDs.

Jenna Jameson modestly covers up with her Vivid snowboard in a Paper magazine shoot

Honeytrap Heroes: The Pussycat Dolls

2004-10-29T09:48:00.000-07:00

In 1993, Robin Antin was a struggling dancer whose CV was made up of bit parts in the "Red Shoe Diaries" and in movies like “The Wizard of Speed and Time”. She decided to take matters into her own hands and got together five of her best friends, who were tour and music video dancers for Janet Jackson and Ricky Martin, to create a dance troupe. Together with her brother, actor Steve Antin (the alledged father of Jodie Foster’s baby), she came up with the idea of a burlesque revue that looked towards Bob Fosse’s Cabaret and old dancers like Cyd Charisse for inspiration. Steve started writing dialogue for the Emcee to banter at the audience with and Robin and her dancers started buying lingerie from thrift stores and glamming it up with sequins, bows and pom poms. Robin wanted a name that was “sexy, racy and…meow!” but also wholesome, because it was all about the tease, not stripping naked – and so “The Pussycat Dolls” were born.

Robin (far right)

The Pussycat Dolls part 2: Kitty Glitter

2004-10-29T07:49:00.000-07:00

Scarlett Johansson dolls up

A couple of the dancers lived with actress Christina Applegate, so Robin invited her to join the troupe and the first glitter of celebrity was added. Christina suggested taking the show to The Viper Room, where owner Johnny Depp loved it so much, he hired them to perform as an opener for the bands every week. After seeing their first show, Carmen Electra went backstage afterwards and asked if she could join as well. But it wasn’t until after “Moulin Rouge” and the “Lady Marmalade” video came out, that young starlets like Gwen Stefani, Charlize Theron, Paris Hilton and Scarlett Johansson, started clamouring to lip-sych their way through “Santa Baby” and do a girl-on-girl tango. When Madonna asked to join in, she was alledgedly declined. The Dolls next big break was helped by the fact that Robin goes out with director McG, when they did their routine in his film “Charlie’s Angels II: Full Throttle”. Since then, Carmen has launched her own striptease workout video and Britney arranged for her brother to be arrested by actors posing as the FBI and brought in handcuffs to a Dolls revue where she sang him Happy Birthday, on stage, in her underwear. Next up, The Pussycat Dolls become a brand, with the launch of a make up, perfume, t-shirt and lingerie line and an album recorded with the help of Dave Stewart from the Eurythmics.

From left to right: Christina Aguilera, Carmen Electra, Brittany Murphy, Christina Applegate, Charlize Theron

Ebay item of the day: Al Goldstein t-shirt

2004-10-29T06:12:00.000-07:00

After dismissing the names “Hump” and “Love”, Al Goldstein launched his porn magazine Screw in November 1968 by getting big-breasted girls to hawk the magazine on Wall Street in lunchtime, shouting “Get your Screw here”. Goldstein was first arrested after calling J. Edgar Hoover “a dress-wearing faggot”. He used to keep a striped prisoner’s outfit in his office which he wore the subsequent 18 times the police came to arrest him for his outspokenness. After three decades of “Screw”, he filed for bankrupcy in 2003, citing the advent of internet porn as his downfall. He now lives in a car near his old mansion, which used to contain an 11-foot hand with its middle finger extended in the garden.

FYI: Before his career as a pornographer, Al Goldstein used to work as an industrial spy for a automobile breaks system company called Bendix.

Screw covers (left-right): the first issue, a 1992 cover by artist Lennie Mace, a cartoon of Goldstein gunning down Rudolph Giuliani

Child molester’s gonna get you! : The songs of Terry Richardson

2004-10-20T14:26:00.000-07:00

Terry Richardson fact of the day
(or an excuse to put a beautiful, nudie picture up)

As a teenager in South California, Terry used to play bass and write songs for several punk bands including Doggie Style, Baby Fist and Middle Finger. The lyrics of his song Child Molester are:
“He gets his jollies by playing with their toys;
He likes little girls; he likes little boys;
He gets a hard-on, that's his biggest joy;
Child molester's gonna get you! Child molester's gonna get you!”

Honeytrap hero: Junko Mizuno

2004-10-20T13:26:00.000-07:00

Junko Mizuno's girls have big anime eyes with fluttery lashes, beehive hair-dos and perky D cup breasts. They wield chainsaws, eat their mutant offspring and practise voodoo magic; whilst naked. Junko started drawing when she was a little girl. She would lock herself in her room to hide from her bullies and draw the ideal woman, pretty and strong. She changed her style of illustration when she watched Sailor Moon for the first time, but it wasn't until 1996 that she got her first break, when she was asked by Japanese techno label, Avex Trax, to design the front cover of their techno compilation "Pure Trance". They loved it so much that they asked her to do a story that they could serialise and give away with each edition of their compilation.

Junko Mizuno: part 2

2004-10-20T13:07:00.000-07:00

Junko with two American fans on her 2002 West Coast signing tour

When Junko was introduced to her publishers, they thought that she could draw, but couldn't tell a story, so they asked her to base her work on fairy tales. She made her first fairy tale "Cinderalla" [sic] even darker than the original Brothers Grimm version. Cinderalla has to become a zombie to meet the Prince (an undead popstar on permanent IV support) and it is her eyeball that she leaves behind at the concert, not a glass slipper. In "Hansel and Gretel", Hansel's voice is so loud that it crumbles everything around him and he has to wear a tuna can strapped over his mouth to silence his voice. Gretel has pink hair, wears a sailor outfit and beats up bullies with her bamboo sword. They live in a town where a giant pig carves flesh off his stomach to feed the townfolk. In her latest book, Junko warps "The Little Mermaid" into "Princess Mermaid". Three mermaid sisters seduce human fishermen into their underwater pleasure palace, where they eat them. Her books have been translated into English by manga publisher Viz, who tout her work as being like"Powerpuff Girls on acid". Some of Junko's favourite things in the world are The Spice Girls, Russ Meyer, Rob Zombie and porn "with great clothing, make-up, hairstyle and a happy touch".

Terry's camera of choice

2004-10-20T04:10:00.000-07:00

Terry Richardson fact of the day
(or an excuse to put a beautiful, nudie picture up)

The reason Terry points and shoots with a Yashica T4 snapshot camera, instead of more professional camera equipment, is because he has bad eyesight, and says he isn’t very good at focusing big cameras.

Honeytrap hero: Dita von Teese

2004-10-19T06:02:00.000-07:00

"Basically, I'm the girl that your mother warned you about."

Once upon a time there was a little girl called Heather Sweet who had blonde hair and wanted to be a ballerina. As she grew older, she started collecting vintage clothes and studied historic costuming at college. On her 18th birthday, Heather bought herself a Victorian steel-boned corset at a fetish shop which could cinch her waist down from 24 to 16 and a half inches. At the same time, she saw an illustration of Bettie Page in a vintage porn magazine which she thought made all the modern fetish magazine surrounding it look tacky by comparison. It was this drawing that inspired her to try and become a pin up illustration brought to life. To begin with Heather stripped in bikini bars to fund her modelling. The bar required a stage name so she choose Dita, after a silent film star of the 20s called Dita Parlo. She looked through a phonebook for a surname she liked and chose Von Treese as her surname. It was only when she appeared in Playboy for the first time and they misprinted her name as Von Teese that her stage name was immortalised.

Dita: part 2

2004-10-19T05:59:00.000-07:00

Modelling turned to Burlesque when Dita started collecting vintage mens magazines from the 30s and 40s and learnt about burlesque stars Sally Rand and Gypsy Rose Lee. She created as her trademark a striptease in a giant martini glass, where she bathes herself using a giant sponge, shaped like an olive. Her performances with L.A. burlesque revue The Pussycat Dolls and her Playboy cover were the catalysts to propel her into the mainstream. More notoriety came in the form of her relationship with Marilyn Manson. They share a five-storey house in the Hollywood Hills which is decorated with taxidermied animals and a seven foot human skeleton that they call Ernie. Here, she often bakes cookies for him in her stilettos and corset. Her next project is also culinary based. As well as touring her rhinestone-studded burlesque show round the world, she is also launching a vintage cookery book.

How Terry gets them naked

2004-10-19T05:57:00.000-07:00

Terry Richardson fact of the day
(or an excuse to put a beautiful, nudie picture up)

When Terry was a teenager he used to take photos of all of his gang of friends kissing, screwing and smoking weed. When he broke into fashion photography, he found it difficult to persuade the female models to drop their inhibitions and their clothes. So he came up with the idea to never ask the model to do something he wouldn’t do. He says “since I’d always got worked up and would, like, pop a boner when I was shooting women, I thought that maybe they’d get more into it if I stripped and let them start shooting me.”

Balsa Boys and Reverse Cowgirls: A beginner's guide to porn set slang

2004-10-19T05:55:00.000-07:00

The word pornography stems from the Greek word "pornea" which translates as "writing about harlots". Today, the hub of the porn industry is now based San Fernando Valley, Los Angeles. It's a $10 billion dollar industry which employs around 12,000 people, in 200 production companies, which each turn out over a dozen films a week. Like every other tribe in society, it has its own newspaper Adult Video News, it has its own idols, like Jenna Jameson, and of course its own vocabulary. So if you ever find yourself on a porn set, flummoxed by what a "snowball" is, read this beginner's guide to porno set slang.

1) Airtight
The term used when a woman is simultaneously penetrated by three partners - one in the front, one in the back, and one in the mouth. Other names for this all-orifices-filled act are 'Triple Crown' or 'T.P' - triple play.

2) Balsa boy
A derogatory term for a male porn star who fails to get erections. When this happens on set, a 'stunt cock' usually gets called in for the close ups.

3) C-light
The 'C' stands for 'cock' or 'cunt'. It's an especially bright hand held light that the director will use to illuminate a close up.

Porn Set Slang: Part 2

2004-10-19T05:54:00.000-07:00

4) Cocksucker red
The expression that female porn stars use to describe the brightest red lipstick that will look best on camera.

5) Daisy Chain
The daisy chain is like the 69 position with an infinite number of partners. (A) goes down on (B), who is going down on (C). This goes on in a never-ending circle of pleasure until the final person lips are linked back onto (A). There is also a female porn star called Daisy Chain who has starred in such lesbian sizzlers as "Pussyman's Decadent Divas 8".

6) FIP
This is an acronym for Fake Internal Pop - the orgasm faked by a man for soft-core movies. This is usually shot after the sex scene, where the man contorts his face and pretends that he is climaxing. Other sex industry terms for this facial expression are "cummy face", "scrunch face", chipmunk face" and "weasel face".

Porn Set Slang: Part 3

2004-10-19T05:53:00.000-07:00

7) Fluffer
The girl hired to suck the male porn star back to arousal in between takes. Fluffers were most commonly used in the days when porn was filmed on 8mm and the camera had to be constantly rolling, to make editing easier. The male porn star would jump in the scene hard to speed the process up. They were popular in the Seventies, but nowadays though there's normally not enough money to hire a fluffer on a one day shoot. They are more common in 'gangbang' movie where the cast is in the hundreds and there are many that are not "trained wood".

8) Giggler
A girl on girl scene.

9) Girly thing
When female porn stars douche before their scene they would say " I've got to go do my girly thing". This is also sometimes applied to any form of female preparation, such as waxing, make up and enemas.

Porn Set Slang: Part 4

2004-10-19T05:50:00.000-07:00

10)M&G track
Like lip-synching in reverse, the "Moan and Groan" track is when the porn stars attempt to record the audio to the scene after it has been filmed. This often allows for comedy inconsistencies when the track is dubbed over.

11) Porn star time
Stemming from the cliche that the female porn starlet is always running a couple of hours late, the director might say "She's running on porn star time."

12) Showing pink
When a woman spreads her legs for the camera, also known as a "Gyno Shot".

Porn Set Slang: Part 5

2004-10-18T09:29:00.000-07:00

13) Snowball
When a man ejaculates into the mouth of a woman and she then dribbles it onto the tongue of another woman and they pass it back and forth. As performed by Justine Jones and a succubus in "The Devil in Miss Jones".

14) Suitcase pimp
This is when a man hooks up with a female sex worker as her boyfriend or husband, then parasitically lives off her earnings. They take over the task of carrying the performer's suitcase and are usually on their mobiles trying to pimp her out to porn producers for the most amount of money. If you use this term on a porn set, you are likely to get hit.

15) Western
Any scene in which the female is on top is known in the industry as a "Western". When the woman is on top and facing forwards it is known as a "Cowgirl", if she's facing backwards, a "Reverse Cowgirl". If she starts out in cowgirl and ends up in reverse without removing the cock, this is known as a "Sit and Spin"

Son of a Bitch : Terry’s relationship with his Dad

2004-10-18T08:35:00.000-07:00

Terry Richardson fact of the day
(or an excuse to put a beautiful, nudie photo up)

Bob Richardson was a famous fashion photographer in the Sixties. He left his wife Annie, a fashion stylist and son Terry, then aged three, for Anjelica Houston. Bob was 43, Anjelica was 17. Terry ran into his father again was he was 18 and found him homeless on the streets of LA. When he showed him his portfolio of photos, Bob was so negative about his work that he didn’t pick up a camera again for seven years. Terry is currently writing the script about his relationship with his father, called “Son of a Bitch”. When asked who he wants to play him, Terry said “Billy Crudup, because he's cute and he's got a mustache.”

click for picture of Terry and his Dad

Deep Throat 1: Linda Lovelace is born

2004-10-14T04:20:00.000-07:00

Linda Boreman wanted to be a nun when she grew up, and was nicknamed Miss Holy Holy at school because she wouldn't put out. But that all changed in the summer of '69 when, after a car accident, she went to her parents' condo in Fort Lauderdale to recuperate. While sunbathing by the local swimming pool she met a bar owner called Chuck Traynor who offered her a joint and a ride in his Jaguar. A few weeks later she moved in with him and he persuaded her to become a prostitute. They moved to New York, and Linda started performing in 10 minute porn loops. One was called Doggarama, in which she starred opposite a beige mongrel called Norman.
Then in 1972, porn director Gerard Damiano cast her in a short called The Doctor makes a Housecall. He was awestruck by her ability to take a cock so deep down her throat "that she bumped the balls." His response was to rewrite the entire film around this act, casting her as a woman with a clitoris at the back of her throat. He called the film Deep Throat. And renamed her Linda Lovelace - because all the major sex symbols of the 50s and 60s had alliterative names like Marilyn Monroe and Brigette Bardot.

FYI: an anagram of Linda Lovelace is clean vile load

Deep Throat 2: Lights, camera, suction!

2004-10-14T02:31:00.000-07:00

Linda was offered the role by Damiano after reciting "Mary Had a Little Lamb" in a screentest. However she nearly didn't get the job because Gerard Damiano's partner, gangter Louis "Butchie" Peraino, wanted a big breasted blonde for the part. Chuck Traynor didn't want to lose Linda's $1200 fee, so he talked the 300 pound Butchie into supporting Linda, by getting her to suck him off.
The majority of the film was shot at the motel the crew was booked into in Miami, because the location scout couldn't find a location in time. One of the crew, the grip, was called Herbert Streicher. When the male lead didn't show up, Damiano paid Streicher an extra $100 to take over and Herbert Streicher became the famous porn star Harry Reems. The plot revolves around Linda going to see a doctor because she can't orgasm, who discovers her clitoris is in her throat. Linda is then hired to make housecalls as a sexual psychotherapist. Highlights of the film include one of her patients using her as a glass and drinking Coke out of a glass dildo in her pussy, and the frequent inconsistencies where she rubs her clitoris during intercourse - even though it's supposed to be located in her throat.
Damiano spent three months editing the film, which was unheard of in the porn industry at the time. He sent his cameraman around New York recording the sound of church bells ringing. Damiano himself went down to the National Archives in Washington and told them he was making an industrial film to obtain footage of the Saturn V taking off. When Linda comes for the first time, the director splices in shots of rocket going off, fireworks exploding and bells chiming.

Deep Throat 3 : Linda untangles her tingle

2004-10-14T02:14:00.000-07:00

The film opened at the New Mature World Theatre in June 72 with the tagline "How far does a girl have to go to untangle her tingle?" The film wasn't doing very good business when it first opened, it was only when anti-porn protesters and the government stepped in to ban it that the queues started to snake round the block. Even though the Mafia had nothing to do with the film, Families all over the country capitalised on its success by sending their boys out to the theatres and demanded a 50% take of the receipts for the film. If the cinema owners refused, their cinema was burnt down. The CIA estimated that the Mafia made hundreds of million dollars from this strategy.
It was the first time that a porn film ever crossed over to a mainstream audience and everyone from Jackie Onassis to Frank Sinatra flocked to see it. Bob Woodward reporter on The Washington Post went to see it on the first run and ended up naming his Watergate informant after the film. The film turned Linda into a celebrity. She moved into Hugh Hefner's mansion for a while, introduced Elton John before one of his concerts and Sammy Davis Jr, got so turned on when he saw the film he tracked down Linda Lovelace and he and his wife had a four-way with Linda and Chuck Traynor.

Deep Throat 4: Epilogue

2004-10-14T01:02:00.000-07:00

Eight years after the film came out, Linda Lovelace released an autobiography, called Ordeal, in which she claimed that Chuck Traynor hypnotised her and forced her to perform in all her porn films by putting a gun to her head. Linda ended her career in user-support for a Denver investment company, while working nights cleaning office buildings. Following a liver transplant and two masectomies, she died in 2002 after crashing her car into a concrete post. Thirty-two years after a car accident led her into the porn industry, It was a car accident that finally released her from it.

Linda's co-star Harry Reems starred in over 100 skin flicks including The Devil in Miss Jones, and failed in his attempts to break into mainstream Hollywood. He was last seen selling real estate in Utah.

Having started his career as a barber. legendary porn director Gerard Damiano is now a golf caddy.

Linda's pimp husband Chuck Traynor lives on a ranch in Nevada. He is now blind.

FYI: Screw was an influential porn magazine that contributed to Deep Throat's intial success by writing a glowing review of it. Upon hearing of her death, Al Goldstein, its Editor, had this to say:
"Good riddance to trash. She was a good cocksucker. She was a piece of shit. Her book Ordeal was a lying piece of shit. She was a hooker, a scumbag, a lying trollop. I'm glad Traynor taught her to suck cock. I dropped several ejaculations down her throat. I want to do a final load, so when she goes to hell my sperm will go with her."